Coming Back and Going Away - Barnana Hemoprava Sarkar

Capturing one’s own likeness, at its core, is an act influenced by a backstage guilt. We are often told that memory is subjective and our version of an incident will always differ - no matter how slightly - from any other’s. We are absolutely capable of erasing parts of our lives...parts which might still be a significant chapter in someone else’s life. We might be the victim and the hero of our own story but this very character - the one who appears to have overcome all odds to triumph life’s age-old battle - might be the sinner in someone else’s story. Doesn’t that make you wonder? Which one are you really? The sinner or the sinned?

Our gaze is actuated by that very memory and, because of its (let’s say) specious nature, the gaze can often lose its sight. We are unable to recognize the core of our being. Every single droplet that contributed in constituting the cloud of our existence seems to evaporate into a void.

My work explores that void space where we no longer realize ourselves or, worse, we no longer trust our own existence. All that conviction, the process, the matter becomes invalid and we grapple to find out that solid ground to rest ourselves on. Our gaze at our self becomes mutable and we are unable to recognize who the self is.

Barnana Sarkar is a writer based out of Mumbai. She works with a women's healthcare company where she manages the blog that is written by women and for women. She is also a freelance journalist who specialises in rural development and art & culture beats.

You can find her on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/nora_as.she.sees/